One week before what would have been Annie’s 32nd birthday, I found something unexpected tucked away in her old Gmail account.

It was a piece she wrote in February of 2016 while flying back to college in Walla Walla, Washington, after being home on break.

What began as a reflection about flying became something much deeper — thoughts about fear, surrender, peace, heaven, and trusting God when we cannot see what lies ahead.

Reading her words now, years later, felt like hearing Annie’s heart all over again. And somehow, in this season of grief, faith, and ministry, her words carried an even deeper meaning than they would have before.

Carried in the Clouds

Feb 2016 — Annie Lauren

Fear Before Takeoff

I felt as if my heart would pound out of my chest, as claustrophobic feelings set in. Sitting and waiting for the plane to take off used to be the part I disliked most about flying. The multiple trips over the past few years helped me a lot with my fear of flying, but my most recent experience, however, changed my approach to flying forever.

The plane was just about to leave the gate when the pilot said they were going to put some de-icing spray on the plane. My phone was already turned off and rather than pulling it back out again, I just sat and looked out the window. I could see the track that the plane would eventually move towards and I started thinking about the new school quarter ahead. I contemplated on the things I wanted to accomplish and burdens I want to let go.

Trusting the Pilot

“For the first time I was just sitting in the moment.”

As the plane started towards the runway, a sense of peace overcame me as I saw the wings lifting off the ground. No tormenting thoughts or bated breath. No feelings of fear or anxious anticipation for it to be over. For the first time, I was just sitting in the moment. Trusting the pilot to take us off the ground – he didn’t go too fast or too slow.

As the plane ascended further into the sky, big factories and tall buildings became small. Destinations that always seemed so far apart I could almost pinch with my fingers.

Because the plane is flying so high, the passengers don’t realize how fast they are traveling. One minute I was gazing down at a long freeway, and the next minute I was looking at the peak of a mountain.

Through the Clouds

“We just had to trust that the pilot would take us to our destination.”

Because it was a blustery day, all the clouds were closer to the earth, and the plane was engulfed in a hazy white mist. No one could see anything coming or anything around the plane. We just had to trust that the pilot would take us to our destination.

Above the Clouds

“God took one of my fears and turned it into a divine encounter with him.”

Soon the sun appeared, and all the clouds were below me. They looked so beautiful with the sun glistening down upon them. When I boarded the plane, I had an idea of what I was going to see, but being in that moment was far more enchanting than I could imagine.

Gazing at the sun, I felt closer to God than I had ever felt in my life. It’s almost like I could see him coming from the heavens with angels around, blowing their trumpets. I could hear the Holy Spirit saying, “ What lies ahead is better than you could ever imagine. “

God took one of my fears and turned it into a divine encounter with him.

Coming Back Down

“Problems that seem big or that can make me feel boxed in are small parts of the journey on the path God is leading.”

As we descended, the clouds seemed so calm. I could see snow everywhere; the winter haze and fog seemed so beautiful. The breeze against my cheeks felt like a wake-up call. A reminder that I am living and breathing in this moment that God designed for me, and there’s nothing to fear.

Problems that seem big or make me feel boxed in are small parts of the journey God is leading me on. Which is why God calls us not to worry about tomorrow and to be in the moment. The future seems far away, but really, life is short, and the destinations on our journey are so close that God can pinch them with his fingers.

Even when we wander off, God knows how to get us back on course. Even when we do not feel like asking for directions, God knows the best path.

Peace in Letting Go

“There is peace in losing control and resting in God, knowing Jesus has already paved the way.”

The wind blowing through my hair reminded me that the hardships I have faced are behind me and new things are to come. God will carry me through the times when I feel blinded. There is peace in losing control and resting in God, knowing Jesus has already paved the way.

Stepping off the plane and looking down at my boots in the snow, I remembered how big my problems seemed when I was staring up at them like statues. But God will help me walk past them to the mountaintops.

The snow falling all around reminded me that even though it may be cold, there is a time and place for everything, for every season under the sun.

A Glimpse of the Bigger Picture

“The Holy Spirit spoke to me and gave me a glimpse of the big picture so that I could come back to His path and have peace, taking one step at a time.”

We can picture what we want our future to be like, but it’s nothing compared to what God has in store. The same goes for heaven. Staring at the sun, it almost felt like God was coming back right then, my heart felt a new life it had never experienced before.

The Holy Spirit spoke to me and gave me a glimpse of the big picture, so that I could return to His path and find peace, taking one step at a time.

Below, I’m sharing a video of Annie singing “Glory Bound.”

In the video, Annie reads Revelation 1:7 and sings words about her future hope.

Listening now, alongside her writing about the clouds, heaven, and hearing the trumpet sounds, feels especially meaningful to me.

There is something deeply comforting in knowing that the moment Annie fell asleep here on earth, the very next thing she will hear is the trumpet sound and the voice of Jesus calling her home.

GLORY BOUND