The buzzing timer was not necessary, anyone close by could tell the cake was done. The rich roasted aroma of dark chocolate filled the kitchen.

It is her favorite. My grandmother’s recipe with luscious frosting plopped on top and swirled to perfection. My heart filled with the anticipation of presenting her with this labor of love.

Taking the cake to her home, I waited for what seemed an eternity for the door to open.  “Happy Birthday,”  I gleefully exclaimed.

“Oh, you shouldn’t have gone to all that trouble,” she said, “It’s just another day on the calendar, but thanks for thinking of me.” Taking the cake and turning her back the thud of the closing door matched that of my heavy heart.

It was not the unappreciated cake that was taken, it was my joy.

Anyone standing on the sidewalk observing would have thought very ill of the recipient. Yet I am afraid I can become just like her when someone gives a compliment, a gift of words just for me.

Take a moment and think of one of the nicest compliments you have received?

Maybe it was for a generous gift, a meal, a performance you worked so hard on. It could have been a simple gesture in your mind and “not really anything”  – to you.

Now reflect on how you received that compliment. Did you, like the birthday girl, take it yet dismiss its value?

The birthday girl is just a hypothetical story, but I have to admit that I tend to downplay compliments.  I often have thoughts about seeming vain by accepting them. 

Another area I struggle with is accepting help. I used to think that it was polite of me to turn down help under the guise that I did not want to be a burden.  As I have taken a deeper look at my inability to receive the help, I discovered something deeper than wanting to be polite. It is Pride!

Both of these situations rob the giver of joy and the ability to be used by God to bless you.

In her book Overwhelmed, Cheri Gregory says;

“In everyday ordinaries of your life, people keep showing up who need what God offers uniquely through you.”

I want to rephrase that statement.

In everyday ordinaries of your life, God keeps sending you to people who can meet your needs by what they uniquely offer.


In Part 1 of  The Surprising Truth About Our Motives Behind Giving & Our Ability to Receive  Katie Reid and I discussed what some of the motives are behind giving and how our inability to receive can come from Receptivity Deficiency.

This is Part 2 where Cheri Gregory and I discuss how when you truly receive a compliment, you actually give a gift.  We also respond to a reader of my blog who sent in a scenario. She experiences a recurring situation with a person in her life that will not receive help.  Cheri provides a way for her to differentiate between what are facts and are problems.

Cheri’s insight on this topic was so helpful for me and I hope you are blessed too.


Did you reflect on a time when you received a heartfelt compliment or help?

Take 2 minutes to share your experience. You can share it in the comments so others will be blessed or you can send it to my email.

I promise to read them and respond through a private response, blog topic, or special guest interview.  You may be the only woman who writes to me about your topic, which means that your two-minute email could help me help hundreds of women much like you. I can’t wait to hear what you have to say!

Cheri Gregory spends her weekdays teaching teens and her weekends speaking at women’s retreats. She has co-authored 4 books and is a host on the Grit ‘n’ Grace Girls Podcast with her good friend Amy Carroll. Cheri also loves to help speakers move their message from the stage to the page. Through Write Beside You, she offers one-on-one coaching and online eCourses for Christian speakers and writers. Cheri lives on the central California coast with her husband and their two young adults.





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