How To Stop Fighting God’s Plan For You As A Mother

May 21, 2020 | Article, Comparison, Contentment, Mothers, Trust, Uncategorized

What do you do for work?

That question still causes me to pause before I answer. It used to be a trigger question.

I am a stay at home mom.

One day a word was added to my role as a mom that I took to heart, owned, and for years even added it myself.

JUST – the definition, nothing more than.

It was a title given to me when I had my second child and quit my paying job. I got a couple of comments that stung and lived in my heart for over 20 years.

“It must be nice to be just a stay at home mom.”

“Don’t you feel like you are wasting your degree?”

I was among women who when asked what they did for work could share the letters after their names – MA, PhD, MD, CPA, MDIV, CEO, etc.  My letters were JUST – I owned them and believed I was nothing more than a stay at home mom.

Little did I know that while I felt looked down on by the moms who were employed, they felt looked down on by me.
A sad misperception that I believe still exists in the mom world today. One morning God told me to look up the definition of JUST, you see I had allowed only one of the definitions to claim my identity.
I typed the word in the search bar and up popped the definition God wanted me to claim.

Exactly. “That’s just what I need”

All those years that I believed I added nothing, that I was wasting my degree and fighting the path God had put me on was just what the enemy wanted.

Today I find peace knowing I am just the mom God needs for my three kids, just the wife my husband needs for support, and just the influencer my community needs.

My guest today had the same struggle with the plans God had for her as a mother.

Tonya spent years believing that every good Christian woman is a stay at home mom before she realized that who she is and where God placed her is JUST where He created her to be. She is a mom who works outside of the home, as well as inside.
She is exactly who God needs to raise her daughters, exactly who her husband needs for support, and exactly who God needs to encourage others through her career.

Tonya and I will share how no matter what role we are serving in, we diminish it by comparing the roles other mothers are in.


Where have you accepted the enemy’s title of Just A in your life? 

Take a moment to reflect on how that affected your joy in the roles God has given JUST to you. Please hit reply and share your thoughts.

Your story could help others who think they are struggling alone with the same issues.




Tonya Kubo is a social media consultant who helps Christian writers and speakers build thriving online communities so they can stop counting followers and start connecting with the followers who count. A speaker and writer, Tonya makes her home in the heart of California with her husband, Brian, their two spirited daughters, and one very tolerant cat. Visit her at

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